Long story short — we didn’t even get into the church Monday night because the place was up in flames again and the fire department was there.

Then on Tuesday night we managed to sneak in for an entire hour, but we didn’t catch one single imp because those little bastards are just plain hard to catch. We didn’t get a single one into a hutch. And then the fire department showed up again, even though there wasn’t even a fire. I think they’re just patrolling the building. We had to sneak out the back so as not to get caught inside. Which, by the way, if we did get caught ya girl’s already been suspended for arson once and I’m not trying to go to jail so.

We needed a plan of attack. SO today Iph and Sophie picked Georgia and I up at lunch and we went to Ann Beth’s diner, which was weird because there was that fucking waitress, the cultist. Melinda, according to her name tag. She wasn’t our waitress, we got the other girl. But Georgia and I watched that bitch through the whole meal.

Anyways, the plan. First of all, we had to get into the church: we needed something to distract the fire department, the implications of which were delightful and dreadful. Secondly, we needed some way to ensure that we got those little bastards into the hutches.

“We need nets,” I said.

“Fire proof nets,” Georgia pointed out.

I felt like an idiot for a second before Iphigenia said, “I mean that can be arranged. Fire proofing nets would be much easier than fire proofing plastic — magic doesn’t like plastic much.”

Witches. Sick.

So the plan became this: two of us light a huge bonfire in the woods. Preferably a magic fire that wouldn’t light the town ablaze. Then the other two would go to the church, net the imps and stuff them into rabbit hutches and bring them to the circem street house, where there would be a magically fireproofed corner waiting for them.

“We have to do it all quickly,” Iphigenia said. “We won’t be able to keep the church clear for long. I’m sure they’ll send people to check on it.”

“But if four of us couldn’t get a single imp into a cage, how the fuck are two of us going to catch all of them in an hour?” Georgia said.

And just as we were realizing that we needed more people, Trevor Fabriano, Johnny Undo, and Scott Gerstell came into the diner.

“Hey,” Trevor said, cocking us a little half smile as they walked past our table towards their preferred corner booth.

We all had the same idea at the same time.

“Shit,” I said.

There was a scuffle to see who would go ask them. Sophie was pretty sure that we should stop being cowards and go ask, until we suggested she do it, and then she got all flustered (lol). Georgia acted all cool like she would do it, but she had no idea what to say. Iph calmly explained that she didn’t have much experience with boys and this situation was making her very nervous. And look I’m talking shit but I refused point blank to go out there and ask, even as they pushed me out of the booth. I refused all the way up until the moment that I was standing awkwardly beside their table. They all looked up at me expectantly.

I took a deep breath. I opened my mouth. “Hi,” came out. And then: “We need your help.”

And Trevor said, “does this have anything to do with what happened to Keith Handell?”

“No,” I said, but then reconsidered. “Sort of.” I took another deep breath. “I’m going to tell you something unbelievable, and I don’t need you to believe me, I just need your help at like 11 o’clock tonight.”

They all watched me with that cool-guy blend of skepticism and amusement.

So I just said it: “There are imps in the church. That’s why it’s on fire.”

They all stared at me and didn’t say anything. I swear it was a nightmare I’ve had.

“We need your help to catch them and get them out.”

More silence. And then Scott said, “I mean it beats my mom’s theory. She thinks Satan is coming for us.”

My embarrassing ass snorted and then hid it behind my hand. Like I was trying to get his help, I couldn’t laugh at his mom. I cleared my throat. “So you’ll be there?”

They exchanged a look. Then Trevor looked up at me and smiled. “Alright Shiloh. We’ll be there. If you’re fucking with us though there will be retribution.”

Lmao I wish I was the kind of girl who repeatedly lit a church on fire to prank cute boys. 😈

So that’s happening tonight. Wish us luck.