a bad idea

I have an idea. It’s a bad idea but it’s been brewing all weekend.

Georgia and I are fine. I called her and realized when she picked up that I had no idea how to start the conversation we needed to have. So I just said, “She should have sent you a letter.” And then she cried. I didn’t really know what else to say, so I just said I was sorry and she said I shouldn’t be sorry it wasn’t my fault and then we cried some more. I’ve been crying so much I’m starting to look like a bog mummy.

But through all that tear related dehydration I got to thinking.

Why should Madelyn get to sacrifice herself for me? She shouldn’t have made that decision for me without even talking to me about it. It was MY death that was the problem, right? I was the one supposed to get shot in the face in the woods. We could have fought it together and instead I’m just here alone, no help to anybody. It was unfair of her. I can’t live with knowing what she did.

Right? Like that makes sense doesn’t it? Why should she get to save me and leave me here useless? I don’t want to be the damn damsel in the story.

Plus, whatever she was planning to do evidently DIDN’T EVEN WORK because she’s dead. They pulled her fucking body out of the lake. She didn’t tell me what she was planning and whatever she did got her killed.

But I’m still here, Madelyn and if you can try to save me by any means necessary I can save u right back. You big idiot.

Also yesterday my mom sat me down with a letter from the state saying apparently I have a truancy issue. I mean I’ve been having this creeping fear that I might fail too many classes because of absences and not graduate. I didn’t think to worry about the state. Lol oops. My life is in shambles what else is new.

My poor mother is obviously at her wits end. I can tell she wants to go ultra controlling helicopter parent but also she knows I sneak out all the time and what is she gonna do board shut my windows? What is she gonna do scream at me until I go to class? I wish I was sorry, and I am sorry I’m worrying her. But I’m not sorry I don’t give a shit about school. Look around mother, high school doesn’t matter. None of this bullshit matters.

I’m going to talk to Mr. Herman. They need a sacrifice, right? Someone who will go out to the creature in the woods and ask to be made it’s champion. And then, once I’m all witchy and badass, I’ll bring Madelyn back.

And yeah, if I have to restore the Black Lake Coven to it’s former glory in return, so be it. I don’t care.

I’m bringing her back.

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