my chemical romance’s 2004 masterpiece i’m not okay (i promise)

We spent the ENTIRE WEEKEND in the hospital, and since by now you all know how infrequently the Hawthornes stay in the hospital for a full night, you know that Neal was fucked up.

But Neal was able to walk this morning, which apparently meant it was time to go.

Julian was not enthusiastic about this. They had a whole whispered argument about it early this morning when the nurses changed shifts, which Neal finally won when he stepped into his boots, put on his coat and limped out.

We’ve been in the car for like hours at this point. Neal is driving and he won’t tell us where we’re going. Apparently, it’s a surprise. He’s also playing Very Loud Music to cover how agonizing the quiet is.

Lol, Julian just said, “Neal will can we just pull over please.”

“Nope, sorry,” Neal said. “We’re making good time.”

“Making good time for what?” Julian asked. Ooooooh shit, Julian just turned down the music. BAD SIGN.

Neal rolled his eyes sideways and isn’t telling us, so Julian said, “You were in surgery 48 hours ago.”

“Oh please,” Neal said. “Remember that time in Iowa? With the red back? That thing fucked me up way worse than this. I’m fine!”

He’s super not fine though. He’s pale, and can’t really move, and whenever he needs to wince he turns his face away from Julian.

Neither of them have explicitly told me what happened in the woods, or what is up with Julian, but I mean… I feel like I pretty much get it. I mean, when they said he “got more powerful under duress” I didn’t quite picture him turning into some kind of eldritch monster, but on the other hand, if I had the ability to turn into a terrifying rage monster and kill a bunch of big game hunters, I can’t promise I wouldn’t do it.

Speaking of which, are they dead? Are all those people dead? Not that I suuuuper care, but like is that why we’re driving? Are we on the run from some actual murders? Are the FBI about to have some actual dirt on us?

Also, are we gonna talk about any of this? Because I really super don’t want to talk about anything and tbh driving away from the whole scene as fast as we can feels ✨right✨ and if that’s what we’re doing great, excellent, I love it.

BUT if someone in this car IS planning on having an emotionally mature discussion about the events of these last few days, I would like to be warned about that as soon as possible so that I can launch myself out the window.

Lol Neal just turned the music back up.

LOL then Julian said, (shouted over the music) “Will you at least tell me where we’re going so I can call the hospital ahead?”

Neal scoffed. “You don’t need to call the hospital ahead, I’m fine! And I can’t tell you where we’re going, it’ll spoil the surprise.”

So that’s where we’re at right now: Neal is Not Fine, Julian is Not Talking About It and I am Listening to Neal’s Lame Mid Oughts Emo Jams for the Bad Times Playlist Very Loudly.

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